A Day at a Time

I saw my therapist yesterday. I had stopped seeing Ann, but the Graham Center's Cancer Survivorship Group thought I still needed help, so I'm back on a limited basis.

Yesterday we talked about my upcoming loss of Lily. I told Ann I wasn't sure whether I wanted Lily to go before my surgery or after. I didn't know which would be better to wish for.

Ann said to stay in the present, and enjoy Lily every day. And not to pray for specifics; only to pray for the best. Ann is so smart.

I meditated at acupuncture again today. I took my sleep mask to keep the tears out of my ears. I opened the portal and was staring at a large group of pet souls--souls who had had bone cancer. I wasn't sure what to say. They were all so sad for me. Ruby came and Lily came and they just sat in front of me and let me sob my sadness into their fur.

I wasn't actually sobbing, but there were some tears on that sleep mask. After the portal closed, I placed my fingertips on my upper jaw, and wished Lily's cancer away.

After I came home for the day, I laid on the bed and Lily snuggled under the covers. She usually doesn't like to be under the covers, but the house was cold. She purred and I petted.